First order of business is everybody kisses Mike Slive's ring

...Mike Slive will lay down the law...

Cheating in all forms wil not be tolerated in the new and improved SEC.

Cuonzo Martin is suspended from coaching for 2 league games for lack of inter-disciplinary control, violation of SEC team rules, mumbling during interviews, and chewing gum on the job this coming 2013-2014 season.

Auburn, Ole Miss, and Georgia your football programs are on report. This is not meant to be a slap on the wrist. To this end, I am suspending Bill Justus for mispronouncing Macanzuela.

A warning goes out to Mr Jadeveon Clowney for hitting too hard this coming season.

Nine conference games a season is the future. My track record of delivering lucrative TV contracts will dictate this conference.

A two loss SEC champion should be in the title game or the future play-offs.

Also, a PGA rules official is assigned to Tiger Woods at PGA tournaments. I have far reaching powers because I am Mike Slive, the greatest commissioner ever.



Here is the list for this week's entertainment...

Comedian Bob Stupids takes on each head coach for Mid-west fun and fellowship.

Dan Mullen will imitate Rodney Dangerfield.

Professor Spurrier will have the white board for a no-time-limit session on everything.

Erik Spoelstra will be missing a play-off game or practice to speak.






Now a Destin spring meetings report from Jimmer Hyams...

"Hello, first to Nascar up-dates, tennis, and golf news and notes...

My sources are telling me that Vanderbilt, Mississippi State, Mississippi, Missouri, and Kentucky are for voting for seven league games instead of eight.

In the hallway, I over heard James Franklin say a six syllable word and say he is the best looking coach in the SEC.

Also, at the elevator Steve Spurrier said he knows ole Ball Coach would win the best sideline and before and after games interviews, but who would win the worst? Someone in the crowd said "I can't decide, Cuonzo Martin or Todd Raleigh" Everyone laughed!

Nick Saban has a five member body guard around him at all times.

Nick Saban is decrying playing nobodys to his SEC colleagues. I would say Nick Saban maybe retiring after the 2013 season.

Les Miles is thinking about signing to 4 guest appearances on 'Swamp People' to champion his cause of less "gators"

Jimmy Dykes has lost his journalistic integrity in his Cuonzo Martin "man-love"

Yahoo Sports media are snooping around here in Destin. The Yahoo guys need to ask yours truly for leads.

Impressive, well done Jimmer as always!

THE FIELD FOR THE 2013 DERBY...



UNDRAFTABLE

McDONALD'S ALL-CASH

RUNNING TEBOW

HEALTHY SAM BOWIE

GOLDEN CARAT

BOOKEM ROBBY MO

CHARLIE'S STRONGER

CLOWNEY OWNS TELLICO

WILTJER GOTTA HEMI

MANTI CLYDESDALE

BLOWING VINCE YOUNG'S MONEY

IN SHAPE JaMARKUS RUSSELL

PETE ROSE DOESN'T BET

CASHnDASH TROY WILLS

HUG IT OUT

DEPUTY DOOLEY

EATING ON AIR

LIMPING EMMERT

NOT IN NERLINS HOUSE MUTUMBO

KENTUCKY REDGRASS

GEEK JR ridden by GEEK

SHAMING TYLER BRAY

FORT PITINO

THESE DID NOT MAKE THE FIELD:



LAST TEAM OUT

MONEY IN THE STALL

UPON FURTHER INQUIRY

YUMHILL DOWNS

WHIP SPRAY

NIT CHEATERS

UNLIMITED TEXTING TALENT

SYRINGE TO WIN

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

BETTER HOOPS BETTER TRUTV

FINISHER BRAY

PAWN 990

WEIGHT VEST SPEEDSTER

FRAGRANT ONE RICKY

GREEN RIGHT SLOT SPIDER 2 BANANA

COMING UP TAILS CATTLEMAN

WELCOME BACK BBQ BRUCE

TELLICO HEAT

DEER ANTLER LONG SHOT

CARNIVAL COMEBACK

CAPTAIN McCRASH

MAKER'S MARK STOOGES

DODGEBALL CATS W/ JOCKEY MIKE RICE

NOT IN CONTROL

WRECKEM DANICA

SPRINT OFF THE TRACK GRINER

WHEN WILTJER DUNKS

PITINO DOWN THE BANQUET TABLE

MENTAL GAME BRAY

DOOLEYDICULOUS

CAL'S THOROBUSTS

WILDCAT LODGE SQUATTERS

PRO BOWL EFFORT

UNATHLETIC DUKE