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PROMOTIONS TIME AT THE OLE BALLPARK
SUMMERTIME CLASSICS
Posted: Monday, July 4th, 2016, 9:19 PM
by Doink
• Permalink
AMERICA'S SKETCHIEST BALLPARK PROUDLY OFFERS THESE BASEBALL PROMOTIONS NIGHTS THIS SUMMER. THESE MAY SEEM OVER THE TOP BUT THEN AGAIN
MINOR LEAGUE BALLPARKS COMES UP WITH WHACKY THEME NIGHTS FOR YEARS...


VOLCAT RAILROAD NIGHTS...

Rebel Railroad is too offensive these days but nobody said the Kentucky/Tennessee border rivalry is off pudding. Some trips you are
a Vol and sometimes you are a Cat. Stinging "weapons" are in your hands to "tag" your opponent. Sign-ups this Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday night games at your ole ballpark to be videoed to be shown at later ballgames on the big screen.


STOP BULLYING NIGHT...

Mark Richt is gone but Georgia is Georgia your favorite whipping chokers. Rip the Georgia Bulldogs until it hurts is the theme of the night. Such talent and so little to show bark/woof about. UGA wears the choke collar for a good reason. Come join us for Stop Bullying night at the ballpark.


LIFE'S GREAT MYSTERYS EXPLAINED NIGHT...

Ballparks around America have come together to explain a mystery.
We here at this ballpark will endeavor to unravel the stupid mystery known as............
wait for it...........

Why have alternate channels on the SEC Network?

You good fans can submit your explanation this night to this particular mystery.

ROGER THE BEAR NIGHT...

Don't feed the bears but this bear is human. Caller Roger/Roget is
consuming and you fans are counting the calories. All Roger can eat
and the fan closest to the calories eaten while going over is the winner of prizes. Hey baby Vol baseball, this guy will show you how to rake at the plate. Sorry, but the case of rice-a-roni Roger already gobbled that down is not in the prize pack.


MICHIGAN MINICAMP NIGHT...

Jim Harbaugh may show up or not but Michigan Todd will be in attendance to annoy everyone with all things Michigan. Hail/Hell to the Victors...will be sung and sung an,an an,a,a,a,a,a,a,and another thing....Blah, Blah, Blah...Come channel your inner heckler
on Michigan Minicamp night!

TRIPLE H NIGHT...

After Michigan Todd you fans need a break. Mellow out with Mr Milktoast himself. Greetings and salutations comes with special foods for the occasion. Milk, marshmellows, and Hallerin's "candy bowl" will be served on Triple H night.


FANBOY EXPO NIGHT...

Come get their autograph and pictures with these lists of stars...

Homer Noodlelimbs
LeBron Jones
Little Jimmy Hartsook
Mickey Dolenz
Stella Parton
Draymond Green (Will sign knees & shoes)
Jerry Granville
William Slatner
Wayne Rooney
Brett Farve Look-a-like
Terry Landell
Ronnie Speaks
Jerry Colquitt
The Mighty Guardian
The Unknown Comic


BUTT JUNIOR COLLEGE NIGHT...

Ok, it's really butt dialing story night. The fan with the best butt
dialing story wins cash and prizes. Don't miss the fun!

ATLANTA DAVES vs TN SMOKIES

An exhibition baseball game and a real toss-up. The worst MLB team going vs the talent-rich Cubs AA affiliate. The Daves feature doubles hitters instead of home run hitters and Mallex Smith mental errors. All beers will be half off the regular price for obvious reasons. Be there!

VIN SCULLY APPRECIATION NIGHT...

Vin Scully is retiring so to honor this all time great it's your
chance to imitate Scully for cash and prizes. So many sound-bites to chose from. "And Bo says hello!", "High drive right field, she is gone!", "I am older than Dodger dirt. It's 112 F in LA today.
Wildfires blazing. I show up at the ballpark ready to work to see Kershaw and Stephen Strasburg pitch and Strasburg has a little tightness in his back!!!"


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